The confused heart

I know, I'm probably the world most inconsistant blogger.  I wish I was better because as I let time pass without blogging many things happen within that time it's hard to catch up on everything.  Therefore I'm going to have to take this particular post a different route.

I chose tonight to blog because my heart just feels full....full of thankfulness, joy, gratitude, but also saddness, and remorse.

I'm beyond thankful for God's hand in this adventure to Nashville and all the good people He has blessed me with here.  I cannot even say enough how good He is. I am definetly in a season of harvest.  I know these seasons are few and far between, as they should be, so I'm choosing to be joyful and celebrate during this season so I can carry a heart of praise throughout all my seasons of life.  My Nashville bests threw me my first surprise party ever and my friends and family back home made me feel so loved by their texts, calls, cards, and gifts. While have had some great Birthday celebrations in the past there was something so special about this one.  I don't know if it is because I truly see God's work in my life here in Nashville and in only 4 months I feel like I'm at home, but something felt different on my Birthday this year.  It made me want to celebrate each and every person in my life.  I love you all more than you know.

On the other end I have saddness and remore in my heart.  There have been some major things going on back home with my home church and I feel so sad for what's going on and can't even put into words yet the emotions I truly feel. Some days I feel angry about it, somedays I feel grief, and other days I really choose to listen and trust God with all my being because at the end of the day, that's all I can really do.  Pray, fast, listen, and seek him with diligence in this situation because it's completely out of my hands. 

I have also felt a degree of remorse.  Not your typical remore, I'm remorsing over my judgemental and prideful heart. So many things have been going on back home that truly have nothing to do with me but somehow I feel a sense of ownership over these things, things that are not mine to have or judge. I strive to be loyal, supportive, and non-judgemental, but I find my heart fails me in that area sometimes and leads to bitterness and resentment. These things bring me to my knees in tears wanting more of God and less of me.  Knowing my desperate need for a forgiving savior who does not favor anyone over another who loves EVERY person with such a deep passionate love, I recognize how my shortcomings are no different then anyone else, and I need to daily humble myself and realize without Him I am NOTHING!!!  Moral of the story...pray for me.

There are a few things coming up that I'm looking forward too

#1 My Grad School interview is this Friday.  I'm ready for this process to be done soI can't be set for Grad School in January.  I am going to school for ESL and ELL learners.  It's very needed right now and their are very few educators certified in these areas.  I prayed about how I could help fill in the gaps within education where there is need and God let me to this.

#2 This Sunday I'm making a day trip to Atlanta with my roommate Christy who is taking me to the Titans vs. Falcons game for my Birthday!  I squeal with excitement when I think about this!! She blesses me greatly. If youknow meyou would never in a million years guess I'm such a football fan because I really am such a girl...but I do love watching sports...especially football...little secret of mine ;)

#3 I'll be going to D.C. for Thanksgiving to visit my family.  I'm really looking forward to this and I love D.C.! 

#4 In a few weeks I'll be headed to Wheelwright Kentucky for a missions trip to distribute donations and to love on the impoversed town we will be going to.  I'm really looking forward to serving and getting to know these people in this community (prayer needed for this).

#5 I'll be making my way back home to AZ for two weekd for Christmas!!! I cannot wait to see everyone!  It will be so needed, I LOVE Christmas time and family traditions.

This post didn't recap all of the past month, it just touched on the major things...I'll try to be better..I may say this often...but really I'll try...

***Fitness***

I'm going on a sugar fast to try and reach my goal weight...the only sugar I can have is natural sweetners and a teaspoon on cream in my morning coffee.

I also have a new workout routine....

Spin 3 days a week
Kickboxing two days a week
5 curcuit weight training 5 days a week...this is what sheds pounds!!

I'll be posting my weight training moves here the next post for you.

Gluten-free recipe this month: Crock-pot vegetable soup

This was most definetly not the best I have ever made and turned out rather bland.  I will be changing it up next time now that I know.  

Here is the newer recipe I made changes too...I also used rice noodles (gluten-free option)

What You Need
6 Cups Water
1 ½ Cups Tomato Puree
1 Cel­ery Stalk chopped
3/4 Cup of Corn
3/4  Cup of Peas
3 Car­rots diced
2 Medium Pota­toes diced into small cubes
½ Red Onion, finely chopped
1 Tea­spoon Pepper
1 ½  Tea­spoon Salt
1  Table­spoon Ital­ian Seasoning
2–3 Gar­lic Cloves (minced)
1 Table­spoon of Olive Oil (for saute­ing the onions)
6 ounces of small shaped noo­dles (you must boil, drain, & add these to your fin­ished soup)
You will need to saute your onions in the Olive Oil just until they are translu­cent. Before adding them into the Crockpot.
Cook in your Crock­pot for 5–6 hours on high.
HOWEVER, wait until after you have cooked the soup for 5–6 hours on high before adding your already boiled noo­dles (we like to add ones that are dif­fer­ent shapes) to the soup.
You will want to cook this in a 6 quart size crock­pot or larger. It makes 12 serv­ings, so if you wanted you adjust the recipe to feed a smaller lot. With our gang here this feed us with leftovers.
After it is done cook­ing & you have added your noo­dles you can then add addi­tional sea­son­ing to taste as you please or keep it as!

Ok well because my heart has been confused  on what to feel lately I thought this video was perfect in telling me...maybe I just need to listen to Adele "Someone like you" and  have a good cry ;)

Gets me everytime ;)

Blessings, Darlings!